‘No’ just means ‘Not Yet’

when your life is falling to pieces…

There is a specific, hollow silence that comes when you’re standing in the middle of a life that feels like it’s falling apart. I know that silence. I know the white-hot fury of looking at the ceiling and screaming, “Why me?” I know what it’s like to feel like the world is a series of closed doors and that you are the only one left outside in the cold.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you to "just stay positive" or "look on the bright side." When you’re drowning, a lecture on the benefits of sunshine is the last thing you need. The truth is, I had to go through the worst of it. I had to feel the dirt, the betrayal, and the exhaustion. ‘Being positive’ didn't fix my life but enduring did.

And I’m writing this to tell you that what feels like a dead end is often just the universe performing a controlled burn.

There was a time when I was absolutely, incandescently angry at the universe. I had a list of things I wanted, people I thought I needed, and a vision of how my life was supposed to go. When it all started falling apart, I didn’t see it as a transition; I saw it as a failure. I saw all others living their vision board lifestyle while I spent a lot of nights crying, questioning my worth and feeling like I was being punished by a script I never agreed to write.

I used to mourn the people who left, the opportunities that closed, and the versions of myself that didn’t make the cut. I felt like I was losing and missing out on everything. But looking back now, through the lens of healing, I realize I wasn’t losing.

Instead, I was being redirected.

I realized I was holding onto things that didn’t have the capacity to love me back, or roles that were too small for the person I was becoming.

The strange, quiet truth I’ve learned from standing on the other side of that noise is that sometimes the universe has to clear the table so you can actually see what’s being served. Maybe the universe is just shaping you, testing your strength, and quietly preparing you for something better than you can see right now.

In my experience, the things we think are ‘the end’ are often just the end of a specific chapter that wasn’t going anywhere good. I found amazing alternatives to the things I once begged for. I found people who actually see me, instead of people I had to shrink myself to fit around. It turns out, I didn’t actually want what I thought I wanted; I just didn’t know that something better was even an option.

I’ve come to believe that we aren’t here by accident. There is a reason your heart is still beating and a reason you are reading these words. You have a purpose that hasn’t been fully realized yet, and there are versions of happiness waiting for you that you haven’t even met.

Don’t leave before the miracle happens. You are worth the wait.

Stay for the version of you that is currently being built in the dark…

Even when the plot feels like it’s falling into a dark hole, the story isn’t over. Everything has a way of working out just fine in the end, not always in the way we planned, but often in the way we actually needed.

You don’t have to see the whole map to know that you’re moving toward something worth seeing. Trust the process, trust your resilience, and most importantly, trust that you deserve the version of life that is currently being built for you.

So if you’re in the middle of such a phase, take a deep breath and hold on a little longer because the plot twist is coming. One day, it will all make sense, and you’ll realize nothing was wasted! The verdict isn’t that you should smile through the pain. It’s that the pain is often a byproduct of a massive, necessary transformation. You aren’t being crushed. You’re actually being forged.

Just know that you’re not alone and remember, if it’s meant for you, it is willing to cross seven heavens to reach you 💕